When I was an under-graduate, I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life.Those days I had attended the wedding of a friend who was getting married to this exceptionally pretty young girl. He wasn't great in the looks or the brains department so I couldn't fathom what attracted her at all (It was probably a coincidence that he belonged to a well to do family). Within a year of marriage, she had delivered a baby and I was shocked...shocked because I thought her life was over, I mean what is there to look forward to now that she was already a mother (and at such a young age!). I knew then what I did not want. I did not want to live a check-list life. My ambition was simple - I wanted to be happy, not too less nor too much - just enough.
A few years later, I was pursuing my post-graduation in Pune. My cousin brother and I reconnected there when he landed a job in Pune. He had a fabulous bunch of friends, much more interesting and intellectual than my colleagues at college. I preferred hanging out with them instead. Those guys n gals were something else, they were ambitious and quite certain of what they wanted in life. Alas, even if slightly different, they too had a check-list of to-do's ready for life. I knew again what I did not want. I was content living a spontaneous life instead - not too less nor too much - just enough.
Two things happened as a result of this. One - I never found love, wondering sometimes if I ever will. Two - I met a friend of bhaiya who was the total opposite of what I am. He exuded a quiet dignity and was probably the most thoughtful, sensitive and patient individual in the lot of good-looking, young, over the top bunch of friends we shared. I did not even realize it was love till the day we were sending him off at the station when he was leaving the city for good, for a new job. I couldn't understand why my tears would not stop or why my heart was crushed. An old soul in our friend circle gave me a hug and quietly said - don't worry, he'll come back.
He did, a month later, to meet me. What was left unsaid, was sealed in a look. There would be no other. We started a long-distance court-ship to test whether what we felt was a fleeting infatuation or something deeper. After 4 years of knowing each other, we told our families and were engaged and very soon married. It has been 10 years since then. I still live a spontaneous life while his is a check-list. We still are complete opposites of each other. I'm still clueless about what I want in life but I'm happy - not too less nor too much - just enough, and I pray that is how it remains :)
