The Importance of important...

In the midst of a (seemingly) important message I was posting on a whatsapp group, my son came in rushing, explaining the rules of a game he had thought up. He loves talking (maa par gaya hain :)), so I did what I usually do...I ignored his animated talk and went back to typing my message.

Now imagine two parellel worlds playing out that moment, my child emptying his heart out to me about this exciting new world he has created. And I am standing right next to his universe, completely unaware of this wonderful happening!

I had missed a moment with my son because I did not think it was important enough.

Why do we only have to pay attention to emergencies? Why does our child have our complete attention only in times of crisis (exams for example, a crisis more for us than them anyway). Why are the little everyday things with these minions not important enough?

Is it because we have stuffed 28 hours into a 24 hour day? Or the times we are at home and physically with them, we are consumed by our need to ‘stay in touch with the world’ via social media? Or because in our list of priorities (which are longer than half marathons nowadays), spending time being silly and playful with our child figures on the 21^st km?

He will never be 7 years, 11 months and 13 days ever again. He may never have this animated discussion about this particular game again. He may sense your disinterest and slowly stop sharing his silly rants altogether (god forbid!). Or you may just miss a glimpse of a budding scientist with a breakthrough in game theory – or the entrepreneur developing cutting edge technology – or the artist waiting to be acknowledged...you may end up creating a lifetime of doubt and insecurity in the child – that he is not good enough.

So stop it, right now. Whatever it is you are doing, and go and hug your child, kiss him silly and tell him how much mom loves him. Next time he has sometime to share, make him feel it is important enough for you.

I’m going to do just that...give him my ear.

Love & light

Manisha

It all works out in the end

I'm writing this now because I am worried. We all are, at some point.

We understand intellectually that worry gets us nowhere. The outcome is usually not in our hands, it's karma and so on and so forth.

It is difficult to leave things on faith. Esp when you can do something about it. The question is should you?

There goes a story of a hungry lion who prayed & prayed to God. In the evening, God finally answered him and asked - I made you a lion, gave you intelligence, equipped you with claws, why then are you still hungry? It is your Dharma to hunt!

The Bhagwad Gita quotes Sri Krishna:

कर्मणये वाधिकारस्ते मां फलेषु कदाचन ।
मां कर्मफलहेतुर्भू: मांते संङगोस्त्वकर्मणि।।

Do what is needed, with dispassion (unattached to the outcome)

So when the greatest scripture ever written also gives such good advice, can we accept it and make life simple?

It all works out in the end.

Theme of Your life...

Humans are complex people. Beneath the layers of deception, confusion & frivolity lie innocent simple victims whose only failing is their ignorance.

Anyone steeped in knowledge will understand the interconnectivity of things. They would know every action starts a chain of reactions (karma), that there is no escaping karmic debt and in the end, there is no other. Pain inflicted on another, is pain inflicted on one's own consciousness.

The cosmic dance of life is much like a game. In some instances, the odds favor certain players. But odds keep changing.

The players can decide their strategy based on their understanding of the game. Is it only about one person winning over others or is it about contributing and building such that everyone gains? What happens if you jeopardise others by a move where you win but at the cost of others? 

On the other hand, are you willing to risk it all by being open and vulnerable? Are you open to 'being played'?

It would be a relief to have a manual you can turn to for guidance - one which you could trust. One that would indicate the path to be taken when at crossroads.

People nowadays forget this Trump card given to us (any pun unintended). It is the Guru principle. You need to arrive at faith for a higher consciousness, complete this journey to be able to seek help & guidance. Faith that when the student is ready, a Guru comes your way. And when the Guru is here, you should use that opportunity because it's the easiest path to simplifying your life.

This happens in so many ways. A chance mention by someone, a course happening in your area, a longing or unexplained restlessness or coming across a blog :)

Maybe it is your time. Perhaps you need to take a step back and reflect. Time to have faith & the courage to face the most important question of one's existence - the purpose of YOUR life...and that is what a Guru will lead you to.

Jai Gurudev!

Outrage Internalized?

When a woman's modesty is outraged, it isn't just her - but we as a collective who suffer. Her story is marred forever. Fear stamped on her beautiful spirit - forever.

So whether Nirbhaya or the Bangalore molestations or the 80 year old brutally raped in Haryana or the everyday occurrences around you - please don't differentiate. It's these small time 'jaane do' which lead to the bigger ones.

My only request to women is that stand up for yourselves. Don't be meek. Whether for yourself or the woman being teased on the road - stand up against this injustice together.

Because the time of Shakti has come. Shiva has failed us.

What Matters?

I have been following the US elections with some interest. I was also caught up in the rhetoric of Trump vs. Clinton...till I realised what an utter waste of time it was. Really.

One, I wasn't a voter. Two, how does it matter even if I have an opinion?

It got me thinking. What is my area of influence? And wouldn't I be more productive bringing about change there?

The next American president (or box office hit) has no consequence on my life (at least directly) but the quality of air I breathe, the physical & mental condition of the animals around me and the upbringing of my kids have a direct consequence on my life.

So what matters? This is the list I could come up with:


* This planet does...be a responsible consumer. Reduce, reuse, recycle and practice waste segregation - everyday!

* Every tree in your locality does...thank them for the oxygen you are breathing right now. Get involved in planting and saving trees around you

* Every bird & animal around you is a part of your ecosystem...stand up to protect their rights. Provide them with food, water & safety. Educate your neighbours

* The children around you are the future. Spend time with them, nurturing human values, learn from them and teach them what you can - how humanity needs to survive in an inhumane world

* Your family does...one day of zero electricity & ludo will prove that beyond doubt. Spend time with them

* Your spouse does...the beer belly isn't good for him or you. Get fit - together

* You - all the drama of life is being played for your benefit right? Stay healthy, stay happy and help save the World.

What about you?

Kitchen Garden/ City Farming @SGNP

Was fortunate to have attended this workshop today. Sharing for reference.

Kitchen Garden Workshop @SGNP
Faculty: Anand Pendharkar, SPROUTS
1. Never throw food in the dustbin, recycle - feed the birds & animals instead
2. Reduce your carbon footprint - Purchase at source (farmers market)
3. Farming is a community activity. A farmer needs to learn to give n share. It's a win win

Repotting:
1. Soak the black plastic coated plant in a bucket of water to loosen the soil. The plastic can be reused!
2. If you plan to eat the leaves, prune the flowers as they release chemicals which make them unpalatable. E.g. remove the flowers from curry leaves or tulsi
3. Water your plants at dusk (4:30ish in winters, 5:30ish in summers). If soil is good, you can alternate days to water. Too much water will only help grow leaves, not flowers.
4. Soil mixture: compost 50%, red earth 20-30% (if plant is to be placed in a windy place, more earth), cocopeat 20%. For germinating - 100% compost or 70:30 compost: coco peat.
Tip: reduce the weight of your pots.
Tip: Baked earth doesn't decompose. The earthen pots aren't as eco friendly as I thought!
5. First watering after potting, has to be till brim so that soil settles n air gaps are removed. You can refill with soil now
6. Germinate some grains (legumes - anything goes, moong, Rajma, corn, chickpeas, mustard, methi, date seeds etc). These can be sprinkled around your pot together - they will provide much needed nitrogen and help each other grow well
Tip: Over watering is the most common problem. Light application of water during dusk is best. Alternate day watering is also ok.

Companion plants:
Brinjals n Marigold (helps avoid the worms)

Insect repellant plants:
Marigold
Pudina/ Mint - Ants
Lemongrass, Drumstick tree - mosquitoes

Natural pesticides:
1. Boil some red chillies/ powder in water and spray lightly on affected spots. Wait a day or two and repeat only if required
2. (Renee's bug-the-mealybug-recipe) Soak unflavored tobacco in water overnight (about 25gms in 1L water). Next day, add 2 drops of shampoo. Spray on plants AFTER watering. Repeat for 3-4 days

Commercial value of a Mom...

(Even if argued and counter argued to bits, I wanted to write about stay at home moms, so here goes...)

The mother-child bond is strong - or so we believe.

In the animal kingdom, mothers play a pivotal role in ensuring survival as well as propagation of the species. They feed, tend, look after and teach the young ones..and let go once they are ready to survive on their own.

Human moms are experimenting with day-care and maids instead.

The human race is seeing a revolution of sorts. Young women do not want to become mothers; or atleast postpone it till they are well established in their careers.
Middle aged women are comfortably settled (and calling the shots) in their chosen careers. Why disturb the status quo then?
Mothers complete their maternity leave and can't wait to return to work - to prove that they can do it both!

Take a deep breath...

Now, what happens to the next generation if women decide not to procreate? What is the harm if a middle aged woman spends time away from her career in adopting or bringing up an amazingly confident gen-next? Why is it shameful for a mother to admit she WANTS to spend time with her little bundle, to cuddle and nurture and bring it up on her own? Why does society judge a stay at home mom so harshly? Actually, why does a stay at home mom judge HERSELF at all?

Our societal conditioning has trained us well. Every idea, act and relationship is viewed as an 'investment' and the returns have a 'commercial' value attached. So while a career path gives us the comfort of bringing home a paycheck, we place no value on the warmth a homemaker weaves into her meals or that her presence and foresight provides for a secure home to return to.

Love, alas, has no commercial value, and a mom unfortunately has lots of it to give (recall the time when you are sick and all you want is for your mom to be by your side).

A stay at home mom does not give up a career, she simply switches it. She responds to her calling as a mother, gives up her vanity, her time and a good part of her youth to bring up well mannered, confident humans of tomorrow.  Where would we be but for our mothers?

This is invaluable for the evolution of the human race!

The next time you see a pregnant lady or a woman struggling with her kids at the supermarket, treat her with empathy. After all, all moms are priceless!

:)